Here a Fart, There a Fart, Everywhere a Fart-Fart…

FOR YOUR GASSY FRIEND…by Christabelle

On a trip to Steamboat Springs, CO this past winter, a large group of us went out to celebrate the final show of Duckbutter- a local and fabulous band lead by rockin’ frontman Scott Ramsay. A beer here, a hot wing there – the The Tugboat Grill & Pub quickly packed out with fans from near and far (I can’t give this place enough kudos – def hit it apres ski should you ever find yourself in Steamboat).  Crowded is an understatement – as the bar capacity maxed itself out.The wrong setting for what happened next…

As I made my way to the bar,  I was stopped in my tracks. Literally, unable to move my feet an inch forward – the smell of rotting carcass instantly filled my nostrils and cemented me to the already sticky floors of the pub. I looked around me and it seemed as though everything had turned slow motion – like I was caught in a time warp from the Matrix…Duckbutter sounded more like Charlie Brown’s school teacher - I was very aware of my own heart beat as it echoed in my head – my straightened hair started to spontaneously curl as the eye of the toxic stank storm infiltrated my lung capacity. Call it altitude sickness if you want…but this had nothing to do with the altitude. It had to do with an ass. A heinously sick ass. An ass that very clearly died a slow and tortured death and wanted to take us all down with it. Had I only know then, what I know now…

The culprit of this foul and offensive odor was never convicted of the crime - even after an encore performance one hour later, but should I ever be caught in the war against gas again, I am prepared – I am armed with SUBTLE BUTT and I am not afraid to pull you out of a crowd and tell you to use it! Subtle Butt (by Garment Guard) are disposable gas neutralizers that act as filters for noxious odors that leak (purposely and not) from the human body. This pack of 5 saving graces effectively catches the stench caused by flatulence. Each 3.25″ square filter is made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment. The fabric is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces outward for bad odors to adhere to and get neutralized. Like a Roach Motel, but for your butt.

It is no joke – guard yourself, guard your friends and don’t let a dinner at Taco Bell give you night terrors for life. For $9.95 per pack – this is the perfect gift for your gassy pal. Buy 1…buy 10…buy 100 at GarmentGuard.com

Want to learn how to wear them? Check out their video below…

The Million Dollar Massage…

FOR YOUR STRESSED OUT FRIEND…by Christabelle

In my former world as a Beauty Publicist, I traveled the country in style…5 star restaurants…hotels that had names I couldn’t pronounce and perks that made working myself to the bone ‘almost’ ok. I have had my fair share of “top” massages at The Peninsula Beverly Hills, The W in Westwood, The Sagamore in South Beach, Hotel Za Za in Dallas…well – you get the idea. I have stretched out in spas…had massage therapists come to my hotel room…and been whisked away to private “gardens” during events to have the “masters” of the industry work their magical fingers to soothe my problem areas (Lord knows there are a ton of them!).

Dana Laven - Massage Therapist to the Stars

After all that – who would have thought that the best massage of my life, would happen right under my nose…in my own apartment on the Upper West Side of New York City.  I had heard through the industry grapevine about Dana Laven -massage therapist to the stars, but never thought she would ever become my reality – or – that SHE LIVED RIGHT IN MY VERY BUILDING. But sure enough – in my clumsy way – I literally “bumped” right into her in my lobby – massage table in hand. 

One week later, in the comfort of my 1-bedroom apartment “oasis”, music of my choice playing in the  background and Dana’s wonderfully vibrant and spiritually soothing persona by my side, I experienced the mecca of all massages. With hands that have touched some of my favorite celebrities – through some form of massage osmosis, I feel like now, I am an A-lister too. It was as if she had tuned into my muscles and they spoke softly to her “I hurt here…” as she tackled a mess of knots with the hand of a true professional – a 20 year professional. Her experience is evident upon introduction – she has a sense of wisdom about her…like she has the solution to world peace in her back pocket…it was immediately put into play once she worked her enchanted expertise on my weary limbs. Three days later I am still in an “aaaahhh” state of mind.

If you live in NYC, get yourself into an “aaahhh” state of mind too – Dana will come to your home for very reasonable rates…I promise you won’t be sorry! 

Schedule an appointment for yourself – or buy a friend a gift certificate for the holidays by e-mailing Dana (prounounced Dah-nuh) dana.laven@gmail.com  – your mind, body and soul will thank you. Tell her Christabelle sent you…

Be the Stinky Kid in Class…

FOR YOUR LITTLE STINKER By Christabelle

Everyone has experienced it…the stinky kid in class that has no idea that odor that radiates off them. They are sweet and innocent yet have stank that parallels Fresh Kills Landfill in Staten Island, NY. NO ONE wants to be that kid – or – have that kid be YOUR kid.

Well…you might want to re-think that mentality! Am I suggesting a bathing strike or an additional roll around in yesterday’s garbage – I promise you I am not. What I am suggesting is investing in the new line of clothing for kids called STINKYKIDS. Fun, and fabulous, StinkyKids is a company dedicated to celebrating the innocent and simple joys of childhood, while making quite a fahion statement.

“You little stinker,” is an expression that’s rolled off the lips of parents for decades. StinkyKids are kids at their best. Backed by the motto: “Always be a leader of good”, StinkyKids are regular kids that make good choices (the company even donates a portion of profit to kids charities!). Each original design is created to capture the most treasured moments of childhood. Whether it’s a princess, a golfer, a ballerina, or kid in a bathing suit, each little stinker encompasses a precious moment of the imagination and beauty of childhood. A little sentiment and a lot of spunk are a part of each and every StinkyKid.

Ten adorable children – from all nationalities – make up the StinkyKid family. So whether your munchkin is like StinkyKid Jen (who wants to sing on Broadway), StinkyKid Johnny (who wants to produce movies when he grows up) or StinkyKid Joey (who wants to be a teacher when she grows up), these animated tees will surely bring a smile to your face and the face of your little one (you can even buy matching adult tees!).

Available from $36.00 each at select Nordstrom stores nationwide, Klassy Kidz Boutique in Atlanta GA
or direct from STINKYKIDS. Sizes range from infant to adult in 10 different designs…one more delicious than the next. Stinkin’ delicious.

Shakin’ with my Chakras…

FOR YOUR NEEDS-A-LITTLE ZEN FRIEND By Miribelle

After a crazy, crazy two weeks, (helping plan a last minute wedding shower on top of my regular busy life is hard work- can anyone say Lehman Brothers and AIG – UGH!), I needed an inner boost to get me back on track to normalcy. One of my synthetic-hating friends recommended I try Golden Earth Chakra Wellness Therapy. As you all know, I’m new the world of the au-natural, so I figured I’d give into a Zen moment. While I was a bit skeptical at first, the oils really proved their worth. Almost like liquid therapy!

So first- let’s educate. Chakras are “spinning vortices of energy located throughout the midline of the body.” The energy centers are weakened from absorbing outside energies. The oils are combinations of exotic essential oils infused with crystals to help re-awaken and heal your energy centers. Since I couldn’t convince my boyfriend to give me a massage with the oils (“the game’s starting in 5 minutes! Matt’s coming over, I’ll do it later”), I just used it as I would a perfume. After even just one week, I felt revitalized. Just the scent of the oils alone gave me the spiritual uplift I needed to forge forward and live life in a centered peace of mind! My favorites are “higher knowledge”—a sandalwood and jasmine essential oil blend with amethyst crystals—which inspires an openness to new ideas and awareness and “life force”—patchouli and myrrh essential oil blend with hematite crystals—which inspires prosperity and stability. I was really impressed with the soothing effect of the oils…and maybe one day boyfriend will realize that too.

Renew and balance your Chakras and get through the madness of your day with Golden Earth Chakra Wellness Therapy – can you really put a price tag on spirituality? No, but each of these oils can be purchased for $36 – well worth it my friends…well worth it!

Jet Setting in Style…

FOR YOUR JET SETTING FRIEND…by Miribelle

Don’t you love that crazy aunt of yours that insists on wearing the same bright purple acrylic, poofy, sequined dress to every family wedding that she wore to your parents’ wedding in 1968? Or how she’ll bring her cat EVERYWHERE? Well, that same crazy aunt just INSISTED on getting married in Thailand and wouldn’t take a cent from anyone.

So last month, I was off to Thailand with 15 of my closest family members. The plane ride was an experience all in itself. So before I met my fate of going on my 23-hour ride with 15 crazy (gotta love ‘em) people, I made sure I had my trusty MYSMARTPAC so at least I would feel like a semi-normal person by the end of the flight. Mysmartpac is complete personal care kit for any and all travelers. With specialized “his” and “her” versions, everyone can be spa-licious even in the mile-high club (not that I’m a member! I promise). Each “her” pack has about a 6-use portion of each product, including face wash and moisturizer, body moisturizer, hair gel, deodorant, toothbrush and paste, razor and a quart-size plastic bag to please the TSA. The “his” version also includes shave gel and even post-shave cream. So while the flight was a little rough (is there an unspoken screaming contest for 2-4-year-olds?), I survived thanks to my natural-ingredient infested moisturizers and cleansers. And when I got home, I even used the leftovers when I hit the showers at the gym (not that I even had to work off any vacation weight…Thai food is so healthy! Try Lemongrass Grille if you’re in New York – they have kickin’ Chicken Pad Thai).

Small and compact, mysmartpac is welcome in my brandy new Stella McCartney Patent Duffle Tote (gorge) anytime. And for $9.95 per set, this is the BEST alternative to buying individual mini’s at Duane Reade! You can buy these petite kits for him and her prior to your trip online at mysmartpac.com, AAA Oregon, The Hotel Mela and even in some fitness centers nationwide… and if you are a last minute nelly like me, you can even pick up these precious pretty-yourself-up kits while you wait to board your plane at The Lounge in Terminal 4 at JFK airport and Shop 24 at the Dallas Fort Worth Airport.  Happy Jetting!

Be a Posh Pin Up Girl…

FOR YOUR BALM LOVING FRIEND by Christabelle

Ahhhh those were the days…sexy screen sirens like Mae West and Betty Grabel posed as the ultimate pin-up girls for the world to admire. You don’t have to jump in your time machine to get the look of these ladies, all you need to do is pat a little Pin Up Balms to your smacker to celebrate your inner bombshell!

These pocket sized retro balms are flirty sexy and oh-so fun! They came housed in a sliding tin container (reminiscent of a balm I had when I was a little girl) that is perfectly portable in the tiniest of trend setting clutches. 100% all natural ingredients – Pin Up Balms come in 40 - count ‘em – 40 flavors ranging from Raspberry Rapture, and The Boys Love Coconut – to – Mocha Loca Chocolate and Love that Lemonade. One more delicious than the next. And each tin is adorned with old-fashioned pin-up girls that is sure to be a conversation piece.

Priced at a mere $4.00 per balm, these luscious lip smackers are affordable to anyone – even on an allowance! Check them out for yourself at www.PinUpBalm.com

Get Busy with the Fizzy…

FOR YOUR FIZZ LOVING FRIEND by Christabelle

As a kid, I dreamed of being a kid in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory – why oh why didn’t my parents name me Veruka? Well, a tiny bit of the dream came true today in the mail today. NO…I didn’t have a golden egg laying goose at my doorstep – nor did any tiny orange oompa loompas come racing through my apartment (though my new Verizon phone does make that creepy whistle noise) – instead, my own personal home soda machine arrived from the Soda Club and I have just completed own special edition of fizzy lifting drink!

This holiday season, give your friends and loved ones something that is fun, healthy and good for the environment! Soda-Club’s home soda machines allow you to make your own soda, seltzer or virtually any kind of carbonated drink right from home. This cool, do-it-yourself gadget comes with reusable carbonating bottles, so it’s an easy way to do your part to save the planet. Great fun for kids too!

I am a long-time lover of Diet Coke and Fresca and can taste an impostor from a mile away. I am also a loyal drinker of Vintage Seltzer – I buy it by the case.  But since I got my Soda-Club home soda machine – I have orphaned both. The diet soda-mix flavors they sell are almost a perfect match for my diet soda big names and the flavors I can create on my own (ummm…yes, I already put almond extract in the soda water for an almond-rific delight!) kick Vintage to the curb.  With my machine, I know I am getting fresh – sodium free drinks at the touch of one button. I can make 10 bottles of my choice beverage in less time (and LESS $$$) than going to the deli across the street.  Thirst be gone – this girl has has been crowned the “Beverage Queen”.

Check out all of the machines, drink flavors and more at www.sodaclubusa.com

3 Quick Steps to Winterize Your Skin…

By Christabelle

It is 92 degrees as I write this post – hardly the day to be thinking about cracked, dry, winter abused skin – but it is coming. The daunting, dreadful, frightfully cold weather is just around the corner and is thumbing a ride to YOUR TOWN, so get ready NOW and beat Mother Nature at her nasty little game called WINTER.

Three quick and easy steps (and products) are all you really need to get your body ready-to-roll with the blistery weather. Now – go to the bathroom and start up that shower…

STEP 1:  EXFOLIATE - So as much as we love the warm weather months – and have learned that it is imperative to get 15 minutes of sunshine sans SPF each day to get our dose of Vitamin D – the elements of summer can wreak havoc on our top layer of skin. Dryness, flaking and itchy skin are all common complaints, so it is crucial to “shed” this layer of skin to create a soft, smooth base for your winterizing. This will allow your skin to soak in the moisture you are going to saturate it with in STEP 3.

Treat yourself to a home-spa atmosphere, with Softsoap’s newest line of body wash called SPA RADIANT. Infused with natural jojoba beads and mineral sea salts, the exfoliating variety gently removes dull skin, leaving smooth, radiant skin in its place. Close your eyes, breathe in and you are transformed to Cornelia Day Spa (or whatever your spa-of-choice in your city is!) – blissful invigoration as this gentle, but effective scrub removes the “dead” from your body. (SRP: $4.99 for 12 oz bottle at CVS.com)

STEP 2: DE-HAIR – When waxing hurts too much and your pocket-book doesn’t quite allow for laser treatments, there is always your friend the Daisy pink razor (which to date is still my fave!). But who is the best partner in crime for this little pink, plastic de-hairing device you ask? Probably NOT who you think.

When I hear “Passion Party”, I am instantly taken to a naughty, dirty and marabou detailed world of sensual goodies. A battery here, something whip-like there - Passion Parties service over 10,000 gatherings per month! It was at party 9,999 that I discovered the Romanta Therapy collection and stumbled upon my new favorite shaving cream (I know, I know -you were expecting something a little more daring…). But let it be known, the Soft and Silky UniSEX Shaving Creme is one of their best selling products! This aloe vera based cream is enriched with jojoba oil, allantoin (that helps with razor burn), and aloe vera. With virtually NO scent, this wonder cream is the perfect STEP 2 product to get the closest shave you have ever experienced.  (SRP: $13.00 at PassionParies.com)

STEP 3: MOISTURIZE - I don’t know if the rest of you have a issues with body lotion, but I do! I think applying it is a messy, tedious process that is so unappetizing I tend to skip it – A LOT. But skip no more since I stumbled across Sanctuary Body Moisture Spray by Boots (inspired by the famous ladies only day spa in London!).

Now, to clarify, I am a full adult (at least in mind capacity), but this stuff smells so good, I truly want to eat it (kind of like the way I still want to nibble a bit on  Play-Doh). Not a sugary, overbearing good, but sniff myself over and over throughout the day good. The kind of good where you say “who smells so awesome?” only to discover it is YOU. With sweet almond oil, jojoba (are you noticing a trend here?), and Vitamin E, this all over body product has one big difference from its gooey pump and squeeze friends. IT SPRAYS ON! Yes, sprays on  – evenly with a feather light texture – no rubbing in needed (though I do anyway, bc I just love the way it feels). My skin glows – without a heavy, weighed down texture. I have since retired my dry-my-body-by-possessing-Elaine Benes’ Seinfeld dance – there is no need. My Sanctuary Body Moisture Spray drys fast – and doesn’t stain my clothes! (SRP $10.00 at Target.com)

So with the hurricane hitting the east coast this weekend, what better time to start your winterizing regiment! I know I am…